Trauma Skill Summit - Relationship Trauma - mindfulness















A lot of hurts has to do with the illuminus

Be able to do compassion practice is critical.  "just like me" - just like me, this person has been hurt, just like me that they were betrayed...
rather than just get your own trauma healed, it is important for you to extend to other
This practice changes the neuronetwork of your brain.

How do you deal with situation where the partner is not interested in repairing?
The more that you can talk about what you need... practice apology...
Not treat them as a bad person.  it is the disability that they had.

Non-violent communication is great, but it is hard to practice.
Blame is the flipside of a coin to a need and its associating feeling
As a listener, you want to be able to reflect back to them their needs, values and feelings.
Doing the conversion - so you do not feel powerless as a listener

Why intimate relationship can be even more triggering and disregulating than regular trauma
Most relationship has some elements of relationship trauma.  As people growing up, the developmental needs that they needed often did not get met (missing relationship),
which then they seek from their relationship.

Viscious cycle, generous cycle.
A chinese story - the fisherman and the sea turtle
heaven and the hell - 6 ft chopsticks - you need to feed each other to get fed.

One of the most common causes of trauma is generated by issues in our intimate, family, friendship, and work relationships. Classical symptoms of PTSD—flashbacks, emotional flooding, rumination, sleep disturbances, and startle responses—are often present, intense, and inescapable. In this session, Rob Fisher explores the causes and effects of relationship trauma, along with practical tools for addressing the symptoms and underlying issues involved from a mindfulness-based, somatic perspective.

Session Highlights:
- Discovering the similarities between relationship trauma and PTSD
- Exploring the causes of relationship trauma, both developmentally and from shock
- Learning how to repair relationship ruptures that can lead to traumatic reactions
- Preventing relationship trauma by understanding the tender places in your own relationships

Rob Fisher, MFT
Therapist, Hakomi trainer, professor, author
Rob Fisher is the author of Experiential Psychotherapy with Couples: A Guide for the Creative Pragmatist and a number of book chapters and articles published internationally on couples therapy and the psychodynamic use of mindfulness. He is also the founder of Mindfulness-Centered Couples Therapy. An advocate of the use of mindfulness and present experience in psychotherapy, he is an adjunct professor at JFK University. As the codeveloper of the Mindfulness and Compassion in Psychotherapy Certificate Program at California Institute of Integral Studies, he has brought together many of the leaders in the realms of mindfulness and psychotherapy in one of the only programs in the US that not only teaches the skills of psychotherapy but helps participants develop their internal state as well. He is a speaker at conferences and workshops around the country such as CAMFT, USABP, Psychotherapy Networker, the Couples Conference, and the Relationship Council where he presents as a peer, master, or keynote speaker. Teaching internationally, he is a Hakomi Mindfulness-Based Experiential Psychotherapy trainer and a director of the Hakomi Institute of California and the Hakomi Institute of China. For more information regarding his workshops and trainings, please visit robfishermft.com/workshops-and-trainings.

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